Thursday Night Marriage Small Group

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Above: Elianna helping mom get the house ready for tonight's guests.

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Above: Kira drooling over a care package we received today from a thoughtful small group from BVBC. Thanks guys!

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Above: Kira helping mom with tonight's home made bread finger food.

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Above: O.K. dad, all ready for the marriage class.

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Above: Teenager Gabi K. graciously showing up early to help with child care tonight. Gabi has such a servant's heart and is always willing to help. Brenda and Gabi helped watch the kids (that would be nine kids) upstairs while we had small group downstairs. We rejoice in God's provision of this house and how there is room for this type of ministry.

Miki first requested that we consider a small group with a focus on marriage when we were still in the States on furlough. After a few months of getting settled in, installing our kitchen, unpacking and finishing the bedrooms, we started the study tonight. It was our desire to establish a few key foundational truths that will be revisited throughout this small group study on marriage. The first verse I wanted to highlight was Romans 8:5-11, where it says that "the outlook of the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to the law of God, nor is it able to do so." In contrast to having lifestyle opposed to God and an inability to submit to His leadership, those who know Jesus and are led by His Spirit are free to live a life (and marriage) pleasing to God. I wanted to make clear that without Jesus and His power working in and through us, any methods or techniques sought after to improve marriage would ultimately fail. He is the one that changes the heart, and this is where the root of most of our marital problems lie.

I am thankful for how the Lord used pastor Larry Crabb's book, The Marriage Builder in my life before I was married. The foundational truths I learned helped Sharon and I establish better patterns of communication and gain a better understanding of our roles and responsibilities in marriage. I presented one of those truths tonight, that when two people come together for marriage expecting the other to fulfill spiritual needs of security and significance, the outcome is disastrous and far from the oneness that God desires in marriage. Larry Crabb used the illustration of this type of relationship being like a tic attaching itself to a dog seeking it's fill. The only problem is that in this type of marital relationship there are two tics and no dog. Neither spouse is able to give what the other expects and neither spouse experiences a fulfilled sense of being secure and significant. To move away from this destructive type of relationship, we need to turn to Jesus to meet our spiritual needs. How we do that and how that affects our role in marriage will be the focus of our next meeting two weeks from now.

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Above: Istvan and Marika from the neighboring town of Zagyvaszántó joined our study tonight. Marika has participated in some of our children's outreaches and is an advocate for us in Zagyvaszántó. Her husband Istvan attends our ESL program and teenager outreach on Friday. Tonight was the first time they have attended a small group ministry together.

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Above: Attila, Miki and Dezső.

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Above: I was greeted by kid madness when I walked into Ben's room after the study was over. All the kids began jumping up and down and screaming in unison, "We want food, we want food!" Afterwards, it was a stampede to our living room as they finished off what the adults didn't eat during the study.

We praise God for a great first study together. Please pray that God would strengthen our marriages as we seek His leadership in them.
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